Perinatal Psychology | Relationships between twins, triplets, and other multiples

Psychology of twins

Relationships between twins, triplets, and other multiples

The twin relationship is a special type of relationship that begins before birth. The person most present in the twin’s life is his/her co-twin. Twins can offer each other mutual support, companionship and affection, and it has been suggested that it is the closest possible relationship between two people.

On the other hand, twins also face difficult feelings, often competing and comparing themselves. One may be more dominant while the other may be more submissive; and it is not uncommon for identification and dependency between twins to be very pronounced and strong.

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The dynamics of the relationship between other multiples, triplets or quadruplets is different since there are more members in the relationship. There may be dependence, domination and competition among them. Two members can create alliances while one remains an outsider.
It is a challenge for parents to attend two or more children at the same time. They often feel they can’t cope, are tired, and need help in parenting.
Parents of twins or other multiples often wonder how to support individual development and the process of separation from them
Relationships between twins, triplets, and other multiples

Do they always have to attend different groups at kindergarten and at school?

How to act when one of the twins is always bossing, or they are very dependent on each other?

What to do when they unite against parents or another sibling, and their behaviour is difficult to control?

What to do when the rivalry and fights are accentuated?

What if one is more talented and the other has difficulties?

How to support each multiple when their skills develop at very different rates?

Sometimes to give a good answer in these situations it is necessary to receive help and specific guidelines.
Tuulikki Trias | Psychiatrist and psychotherapist, specialized in children and adolescents

What we do at LAPSI

At the LAPSI Centre we help parents to deal with issues that have to do with the development, psychology and parenting of twins and other multiples. If necessary, a diagnostic evaluation is carried out and treatment is recommended.

Most of the time, these concerns can be addressed by small interventions. However, early attachment psychotherapy, individual or family psychotherapy is sometimes necessary.

Tuulikki Trias | Psychiatrist and psychotherapist, specialized in children and adolescents